As I’m writing this, it’s Saturday afternoon and we’ve just had a wiener roast in the backyard. First one of spring. It’s windy and cool but we figured if we can do wiener roasts in the winter, we can do it on a cold spring day. The smoke from the fire was all over the place, it was dancing.
Tim and Cameron went to the dump hill this morning with a group of others to make a new trail for Kids of Mud (a kids bike club), so Aaron, Rachelle and I just hung out at home and had a lazy morning. Personally, I kind of had a woe-is-me morning. I’m in the middle of writing a book about my personal experience with depression and it’s great to see how God has brought me to a place of wholeness. But on the tail end of that struggle came another one related to physical health. Actually I think this issue has been around for years but only now am I able to give it more attention.
I’m sure I have mentioned in a previous article that I’ve been dealing with gastrointestinal issues. I don’t experience pain very often anymore, I just feel discomfort. I have an appointment with a specialist in June so hopefully in the not-too-distant future I’ll have an idea of what I’m dealing with. My main concern is whether or not I have celiac disease. If we rule that out, I think I can handle whatever else it might be. Food issues are not an easy thing to work around but in light of what I could be dealing with, it’s just an inconvenience.
This morning was a discouraging one because summer is coming and I was thinking about swimming and shorts and all that fun stuff. I went through my clothes to see if anything fit, knowing before I tried anything on I was likely gonna be out of luck. I was! Last summer my clothes were too small because I was gaining weight and bloated easily. I had to shop in Thyme Maternity. (Come on now, that’s not funny!) J Okay, maybe a little. But last fall I went through some treatment that seemed to affect my metabolism and now I can’t seem to stop losing weight. Good grief! At first I was happy about the weight loss because what girl doesn’t want to be slim? It’s fun to shop for smaller sizes rather than bigger ones, but it gets discouraging when you buy something you really like and within a month it’s too big. (Which keeps happening.)
I’m a little concerned because years ago when I was riding the emotional rollercoaster, I couldn’t control the weight loss and plummeted to below a healthy weight for my body structure. I am hoping that at some point this time, my body will say “enough.” I must admit I’m discouraged! I need the magic formula. Sometimes I feel like my body is my enemy and I wonder how to make it work better. I finally get my mind sorted out and then I have to deal with physical issues.
I have mild scoliosis (a twist in my back) so shirts sit crooked on me. I bloat up after meals so I need to change after I eat. My feet are narrow and flat so I have a lot of trouble finding shoes that fit. (I’d love to be able to buy women’s shoes instead of men’s.) At least six days a month I have headaches to battle. Honestly, when I think of the verse that says, “Don’t worry about what to eat or what to wear…” I wonder how not to. I just need my own designer! Yes, God provides all I need but it would be nice to have a manual to figure things out. I realize, too, that these things I fuss about are not big problems. I can walk, run, speak, hear and my mind is healthy. So stop whining right?
As I was sitting here wondering how to encourage you, while I was so discouraged myself, God told me to spend some time with Him first, before writing. So I picked up a Bible study book I’ve been working through the last few months on 1 Peter, called Homeward Bound. The chapter I’m working on right now is a call to holy living and it had me reading through 1 Peter 1:1-12. It’s an encouraging passage of scripture to read when you are going through trials or struggles of any kind.
The first verse that spoke to me was verse 4: “For God has reserved a priceless inheritance for his children. It is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay.” Right on! No matter what I’m dealing with here, it is only for a time and I get to look forward to a priceless inheritance from God. Oh, the anticipation! Then in verses 6,7: “So be truly glad! There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for awhile. These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is tested as fire tests and purifies gold—and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold. So if your faith remains strong after being tried by fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honour on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.” (italics mine)
Not only are trials likely to happen but according to this verse, they are necessary to purify our faith. God says my faith is precious to Him so I have a choice in how I deal with these struggles. I can throw my hands up in disgust, give up and turn away from God because my life isn’t easy, or I can fight with God’s help, trust in His plan and please Him with my faith. I choose to trust in Him and rely on His grace to get me through, even though I feel discouraged when life isn’t easy. It helps me, too, to think of the person who is confined to a wheelchair or one who can’t speak or communicate. I am very fortunate and blessed that my problems are minimal, but how I respond to them may help someone see Jesus in a different light then they did before.
Just read a great book by Tim Downs called Shoofly Pie. It’s a murder mystery. This woman Katherine hires a “Bug Man” to investigate her friends death which was ruled a suicide. He find answers to questions by studying the bugs he pulls off the dead bodies. Interesting way to do a murder mystery. Page turner for sure.
